Neighbor accuses another resident of stealing her cat because it visits her doorstep constantly, even though she allowed them to play with her cat previously: ‘I was acting in good faith’

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  • a gray striped tabby cat walking across a lush green field
  • "Neighbour keeps accusing me of ‘stealing’ her cat because it sits outside my door"

    I moved into my current place a few months ago. My neighbour has a very friendly outdoor cat (Bow) who roams the area freely, like many cats do in the UK.
  • When I first moved in, Bow would often come up to us, sit near our door, and ask for attention.
  • Before ever giving him treats, I asked the neighbour's permission, and she said "Of course! Everyone in the neighbourhood does." So occasionally we gave him treats and pets - nothing unusual.
  • Fast forward a bit, and the tone suddenly changed. She started messaging me saying things like "Can you let Bow out please?" and "I saw you taking him inside" - even when the cat was not in my house.
  • To be clear: we have never kept her cat inside. The only times he has entered were when he ran in on his own while we were opening the door or bringing groceries in, and we immediately put him back outside.
  • Despite this, she accused us multiple times of "taking him in," claimed she saw us carrying him out with a feeding bowl (there was no bowl), and eventually escalated to saying that keeping someone's pet is theft.
  • a woman looking out of her window, stressed with her hand on her head
  • That honestly shocked and upset me. I set firm boundaries and told her we no longer want any involvement with her cat.
  • We stopped feeding him entirely and stopped interacting with him at all. She then put an Apple AirTag on the cat and started tracking his location.
  • Here's the problem: Bow still frequently waits outside our doorstep. We live near trees and a path, so the AirTag location shows him as being "at our location" even when he's clearly outside, not inside our home.
  • I became anxious that she'd keep assuming we had him, so when he blocked our doorway, I sent her a message with a timestamped photo saying he was outside and asking her to move him.
  • Her response was: "Stop feeding him and he won't sit at your door. Simple." At that point, I felt like no matter what I said or did, I was being blamed.
  • I was acting in good faith, documenting things purely to avoid more accusations, and yet I was still being treated like the problem.
  • I'm now ignoring the cat completely and only messaging her if he physically blocks my door - and even then, only with a neutral message and a photo showing he's outside.
  • So Reddit... AITA for setting boundaries, documenting things for my own protection, and wanting zero involvement with my neighbour's cat after being repeatedly accused of stealing it?
  • burntwitch13 Get cameras
  • Lizardgirl25 Obviously... Bow does not like his owners... I am sorry they're so horrible Bow wants you not them. Our outside cat(he is technically an indoor-outdoor cat but our dogs are not trusted by him.) live on our porch. He has chairs and food and water on his own special perch. My mom also sits half the day outside with him on her lap.
  • OP ElegantTwist3250 Such a shames because he is the most adorable loving cat ever! He hears my car drive away and when I return he almost always waits at my doorstep. It's so heartbreaking to having to ignore him now.
  • Adorable-Sell-8107 Ring camera would solve this. Any time she texts accusing you of taking her cat, send her a clip of the live video showing him on your porch.

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